3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize