i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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