i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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