They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
