TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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