she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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