What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
