ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize