Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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