her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
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We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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