Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
