I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
