she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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