I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize