We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
