Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
