What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
