Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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