I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's never too late to be topless.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
