I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
