Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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