She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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