You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
