It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
