trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
