Who wears a wallet chain?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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