Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
