If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize