3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We left the knife in your bed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
