Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I am one with the molecules
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
