i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
