normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.