every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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