i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
