Do you still have your period?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
