Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize