I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
