you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
