By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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