she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
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I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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