I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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