i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize