I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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