Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
