i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We don't watch enough power rangers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
