I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
