im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize