Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
