Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
