According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
