Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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