How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
