oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
