Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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