Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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