He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
