Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I sprained my soul last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
