Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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